


Too Late

by IvanW



Series: Sad Endings [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Episode: s03e09 The Tholian Web, Grief, M/M, One Shot, Regrets, Sad, Sorrow, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 04:58:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8043463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: Spock realizes it is too late





	Too Late

Spock was too late.

The realization was beyond painful.

And now…he would never know.

Never know the taste of Jim. The feel of him everywhere. The touch of his mind.

Jim was…gone.

Unlike before there was no Khan to bring him back with blood. Jim’s body was lost in space.

Spock had tried. He’d tried everything he could think of, whether logical or illogical, to get Jim back. And now the Tholians were building their web around the Enterprise and his duty, Spock’s duty, was to get the Enterprise safely away.

Without their captain.

Without Jim.

Spock should have told him how he felt while he’d had the chance. As he stared at the stars, at the web being built, he knew he had no time to waste in contemplating what could never be, and yet he had not moved.

There had been times, surely, when Spock had been certain Jim returned his regard. A shared look, the brush of hand against hand. How close Jim stood to him whenever he was stressed. Spock should have said something.

Why did he not?

Because there was always that tiny fear that he imagined those warm looks. Imagined that Jim had a special smile reserved only for him. Perhaps those hand brushes really had been an accident and nothing more. Jim stood close to McCoy, too, so standing close to Spock meant nothing more.

He’d convinced himself to remain silent and by Jim’s side.

He should have insisted he stay on that ship instead of Jim. Spock knew it would not matter. Jim would do as he pleased always.

Except…he could not now. Nor ever again.

“Spock.”

He tried not to tense at the doctor’s voice. McCoy reminded him of what he’d lost. And of all the losses Spock had faced, this was surely the most incomprehensible.

“The crew is waiting. We have to have the service for Jim.”

Spock wanted to do no such thing.

“Spock.” McCoy put his hand on Spock’s arm. “I miss him too. But we have to do this. And after—”

“After?”

“He left a video for us to watch in the event of his death.”

Event. His death was not an _event_.

Spock clenched his fists.

Jim had been Las’hark. Spock’s las’hark anyway.

“I do not have time to watch it.”

“Too bad. It was Jim’s wish. And we’re going to watch it. We owe him that much.”

But Spock owed him everything. Everything. And Jim was gone.

Spock straightened and turned to walk out of the room and to the rec room where Jim’s service would be held.  


End file.
